So then… Now Avenue Nightclub has closed its doors for the last time, Newbury finds itself left with no night spots for the discerning music enthusiast.

If you went out in town this Friday night and stayed out til after 12pm you’d have a choice of:

The Snooty Fox – no entertainment just a jukebox playing Blink 182.
The Diamond Tap – operates a ‘no music’ policy
Document House – Usually 70’s & 80’s Disco on Friday’s
Fever Nightclub – 70’s & 80’s Disco (again)
Monty’s – God knows what happens in here probably a 70’s & 80’s night…
Liquid – Cheese & Chart tunes.

That list is laughable, it’s a tired joke.
I had the misfortune to end up in Fever last Thursday night, which was an interesting experience – the laptop operater (for there was no DJ) was playing Pendulum – Tarantula when I walked in, and had no qualms about lining up Foreigner next on his playlist. How have the management of Fever become so confused they hired that plank with the rims off The Gadget Show to run the tunes for them on his new top bollock laptop gizmo? WTF!? DJ ing is an artform, looking at the fools playing these clubs in town you’d be mistaken for thinking its a pisspoor comedy sideshow. Ask yourself this – did that dude in Fever go out and buy an MP3 of Tarantula cos he fucking loves Drum and Bass? After listening to his set playlist for about 45 minutes I think he hates music full stop.
But then again what do I know, I’ve only dedicated the last 10 years of my existence to running parties in town, digging for tunes (my record collection will piss all over your iTunes library), and DJing any set that comes my way. I don’t do too badly either, usually fitting in 3 or 4 gigs over a weekend and generating return bookings wherever I go, yet I can’t get a regular Friday or Saturday night slot in town. And it’s not just me, I can name at least 10 fucking decent DJ’s who live and work round here, and have DJed all over the world who are relegated to listening to some laptop toting tryhard bringing the art into disrepute – the situation is ridiculous.
So take this as a statement of intent, if you’re reading this and happen to be the manager of a venue then prepare yourself, I’ll be knocking on your door in the near future demanding to be taken seriously, or if you’re a Newburyite and hear what i’m saying please lend me your support – I cannot change people’s perceptions by myself!

N.B. There are real Laptop DJ’s out there – they actually mix tunes, check out 3 Parts DJ – the guy I’m talking about above made no attempt – he was running a playlist – which is fine if you’re sat at work or chillin at home, unforgivable if you’re in a club getting paid to do it…